Berg Bryant Elder Law Group, PLLC

How to Deal with Parents with Dementia: Practical Tips


Dealing with a parent who has dementia can be a challenging and emotional experience. Dementia is a disease that affects the brain, causing a decline in cognitive abilities and memory loss. It can be difficult to watch a parent struggle with this disease, and it can be hard to know how to help them.

If you are dealing with a parent who has dementia, there are some things you can do to make the situation easier. One of the most important things you can do is to improve communication with your parent. This can involve speaking in a calm and reassuring tone, using simple language, and avoiding arguments or confrontations. It can also be helpful to allow others to help, such as hiring a caregiver or enlisting the help of family members.

Understanding Dementia and Its Types

Dealing with a parent who has dementia can be challenging, but understanding the different types of dementia can help you provide better care and to show you how to deal with parents with dementia. Dementia is a general term that refers to a decline in cognitive function that interferes with daily activities. The most common types of dementia are Alzheimer’s disease, vascular dementia, Lewy body dementia, and frontotemporal dementia.

Alzheimer’s Disease and Its Impact

Alzheimer’s disease is the most common form of dementia, accounting for 60-80% of cases. It is a progressive disease that affects memory, thinking, and behavior. As the disease progresses, individuals with Alzheimer’s may have difficulty with communication, completing tasks, and recognizing loved ones.

Vascular Dementia and Mixed Dementia

Vascular dementia is caused by reduced blood flow to the brain and accounts for 10% of dementia cases. Symptoms can include confusion, difficulty with memory, and problems with vision. Mixed dementia occurs when an individual has both Alzheimer’s disease and vascular dementia.

Lewy Body Dementia and Frontotemporal Dementia

Lewy body dementia is caused by the buildup of abnormal proteins in the brain and accounts for 5-10% of dementia cases. It can cause hallucinations, difficulty with movement, and changes in mood and behavior. Frontotemporal dementia is caused by damage to the frontal and temporal lobes of the brain and can cause changes in personality, behavior, and language skills.

It’s important to note that symptoms and progression of dementia can vary significantly between individuals. If you suspect that your parent may have dementia, it’s essential to seek a proper diagnosis from a healthcare professional. A diagnosis can help with treatment and planning for the future.

In summary, understanding the different types of dementia can help you provide better care for your parent. Alzheimer’s disease, vascular dementia, Lewy body dementia, and frontotemporal dementia are the most common types of dementia. If you suspect that your parent may have dementia, seek a proper diagnosis from a healthcare professional.

Coping Strategies for Caregivers

Caring for a parent with dementia can be a challenging and emotional experience. As a caregiver, taking care of yourself while caring for your loved one is essential. Some coping strategies can help you manage stress and maintain your well-being.

Effective Communication Techniques

Communication can be difficult when caring for someone with dementia. Using simple language, speaking slowly, and maintaining eye contact are key. Avoid arguing or correcting your loved one; instead, try to validate their feelings and provide reassurance.

Creating a Safe and Familiar Environment

Creating a safe and familiar environment can help reduce anxiety and agitation in your loved one. Remove any potential hazards, such as loose rugs or clutter. Keep a consistent routine and schedule, and incorporate familiar activities and hobbies.

It is also important to care for your well-being as a caregiver. Here are some additional strategies that can help:

  • Seek support from family and friends, or consider joining a support group for caregivers.
  • Take breaks when needed and try to maintain a work-life balance.
  • Practice self-care activities, such as exercise, meditation, or hobbies.
  • Be patient with yourself and your loved one, and try to avoid guilt or resentment.
  • Seek professional help if you are experiencing symptoms of depression, anxiety, or extreme stress.

Remember, caring for a parent with dementia can be challenging, but there are resources and support available to help you manage.

Navigating Treatment and Support Options

Dealing with a parent who has dementia can be overwhelming, but there are treatment and support options available to help you and your loved one. Here are a few things to remember as you navigate these options.

Understanding Medication and Therapy Options

Medications can help manage symptoms of dementia, but they are not a cure. It’s important to work with your loved one’s doctor to find the right medication and dosage. Some medications can have side effects, so you should monitor your loved one’s reaction.

In addition to medication, therapy can also be helpful for both the person with dementia and their family caregivers. Physical therapy can help maintain mobility and prevent falls, while occupational therapy can help with daily living skills. Speech therapy can also be helpful for those experiencing language and communication difficulties.

Leveraging Support Groups and Resources

Caring for a parent with dementia can be a challenging experience, but you don’t have to do it alone. Support groups and resources are available to help you navigate this journey. The Family Caregiver Alliance is an excellent resource for information and support for family caregivers.

Support groups can also be helpful for both the person with dementia and their family caregivers. These groups can provide a sense of community, understanding, and practical tips and advice from others going through similar experiences. Hearing from others can help show you how to deal with parents with dementia. Not all situations are alike!

As an adult child caring for a parent with dementia, you may also be part of the “sandwich generation” – caring for both your parent and your own children. It’s important to prioritize self-care and seek out support when needed. Remember, you are not alone in this journey.

In conclusion, navigating treatment and support options for a parent with dementia can be overwhelming. Still, you can provide the best care possible for your loved one with the right resources and support.

How to Deal with Your Parents with Dementia and Get Their Affairs in Order

If you have a parent with dementia, it’s important to get their affairs in order as soon as possible. This includes creating a will, establishing trust, and appointing a durable power of attorney. These legal documents ensure that your parent’s wishes are respected, and their assets are distributed according to their wishes. If your parent is in the early stages of dementia, they may still have the capacity to sign these documents. However, if they are in the later stages of the disease, they may no longer be able to make these decisions.

In addition to legal documents, it’s important to plan for Medicaid. Medicaid can help cover the cost of long-term nursing home care, which can be expensive. In Florida, Medicaid eligibility for long-term nursing home care is based on the assets and income of the Medicaid applicant and their spouse. Planning can help ensure that your parent qualifies for Medicaid when they need it.

You should appoint a healthcare surrogate and create advance directives. A healthcare surrogate can make medical decisions on your parent’s behalf if they cannot do so. Advance directives outline your parent’s wishes for end-of-life care, including whether they want life-sustaining treatment.

Finally, it’s important to set up your parent’s accounts so that you can manage them if necessary. This includes bank accounts, investment accounts, and utility accounts. Make sure that you have access to these accounts legally and that you know how to manage them. Gaining access through logins and passwords is not legally sufficient, you must get power of attorney.

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Maintaining a Healthy Relationship with Your Parent

When your parent has dementia, it can be challenging to maintain a healthy relationship with them. However, it is essential to remember that your parent is still the same person you love, even if their personality changes due to their condition. Here are some tips to help you maintain a healthy relationship with your parent:

Communicate Effectively

Communication is vital when it comes to maintaining a healthy relationship with your parent. Speak calmly and gently, and be patient when they struggle to find the right words. Use simple language and avoid slang or jargon they may not understand. Make eye contact and listen actively to what they are saying.

Practice Empathy

It’s essential to practice empathy when caring for a parent with dementia. Try to see things from their perspective and understand their feelings. This can help you communicate more effectively and respond to their needs with greater sensitivity and compassion. Focus on the positive and find joy in the small moments you share with your loved one.

Take Care of Yourself

Caring for a parent with dementia can be emotionally and physically exhausting. Take care of yourself. Ensure you exercise, eat a healthy diet, and get enough sleep. Consider joining a support group for people who are caring for loved ones with dementia. Remember to take breaks and ask for help when you need it.

Be Patient

Dementia can cause personality changes in your loved one, and they may become agitated or confused. Be patient and understanding when this happens. Try not to take their behavior personally, and remember they are not doing this intentionally.

Grieve Your Losses

Watching a loved one with dementia can be a grieving process. It’s important to acknowledge and grieve your losses. You may be grieving the loss of the person you used to be or the loss of the relationship you once had. It’s okay to feel sad or angry about these losses. Consider talking to a therapist or joining a support group to help you through this process.

By following these tips, you can maintain a healthy relationship with your parent, even as they struggle with dementia. Remember to communicate effectively, practice empathy, care for yourself, be patient, and grieve your losses.

Frequently Asked Questions

When is it time for a parent with dementia to go into a care home?

Deciding when it is time for a parent with dementia to go into a care home can be a difficult decision. It is crucial to consider the safety and well-being of your parent, as well as your ability to provide care. Signs that it may be time for a care home include your parent wandering, becoming agitated or aggressive, or being unable to perform activities of daily living. Consult with your parent’s doctor and other healthcare professionals to help make this decision.

How can I help my parent with early dementia?

If your parent has early dementia, there are several things you can do to help them. Please encourage them to stay active and engaged in activities they enjoy. Make sure they are eating a healthy diet and getting enough exercise. Create a routine and stick to it to help them feel more secure. Consider hiring a caregiver to provide additional support.

What are some tips for caring for someone with dementia?

Caring for someone with dementia can be challenging, but several tips can help. Keep a routine and stick to it as much as possible. Use simple language and give clear instructions. Be patient and allow extra time for tasks. Focus on the person’s remaining abilities rather than their limitations. Seek support from healthcare professionals and support groups.

How can I cope with my parent’s dementia diagnosis?

A dementia diagnosis can be devastating for both the person with dementia and their family members. It is important to take care of yourself and seek support from others. Join a support group or seek therapy to help you cope with your emotions. Educate yourself about the disease and make a plan for the future.

What should I say to a dementia patient who wants to go home?

It is common for dementia patients to become confused and disoriented, leading them to want to go home even when they are already there. Instead of arguing or correcting them, redirect their attention to something else. You can also reassure them that they are safe and that you will take care of them.

What are some practical ways to control a parent with dementia?

It is important to remember that you cannot control a person with dementia. Instead, focus on creating a safe and supportive environment. Use positive reinforcement and praise for good behavior. Avoid arguing or correcting them, as this can lead to agitation. Consider using music or other calming activities to help them relax.

Hopefully, you’ve found this article to be helpful and give you direction on how to deal with parents with dementia. A good next step is to learn more about elder law from the website.

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About the Author

Berg Bryant Elder Law Group, PLLC practice assists families in Duval County for Asset Protection, Estate Administration, Guardianship and Estate Planning